Vacation, Part Two

We made it home! A couple of days ago, actually. We made it home in time to enjoy the holiday weekend. Wow. It has been such a great couple of weeks! We had an incredible vacation. It was the perfect amount of sight-seeing, local cuisine, trying new things, and relaxing! There are a couple of major milestones I would like to remember, so if you don't want to read about our vacation, I understand. Check back another day.

First: I went to my first and second MLB games! I should tell you that I married a St. Louis Cardinals fan. He has always been and will always be a Cardinal fan. He knows just about every player they've ever had and can tell you all about them. (I should note here that I haven't adopted all of his teams, but I have always loved baseball and it is so much better when you have your own team to cheer for! So, after watching them for the past 3 seasons, I  am a Cardinal fan. I can tell you most of the current players, the positions they play, and I can tell you how some of them are batting this season. So it was definitely time to see them live.) It was AMAZING! We were in the first two rows on the right field level. We were actually surrounded by Cardinal fans, which was nice. I got to see a grand slam the first game! We won 10-2. The second night we won 5-3. It was so much fun! Of course, no baseball game is complete without a hot dog! Yum. (I love that all of my favorite memories involve  or revolve around food. Haha!)

Second: The food. Oh, the food. We were in San Diego for the baseball games and had some of the best food ever. The first night we had sea food. (One of my favorites! My husband tolerates fried fish, so I felt a little spoiled.) It was so good. We ate at The Fish Market with a couple of friends. It's right on the harbor and had amazing views! The food was fresh and delicious. I wish I had taken pictures, but I just ate it so fast! We started with a couple of plates to share. The first was garlic bread with a habanero marinara sauce that is topped with crab. (I've been asked to recreate that one at home. I can't wait to try!) The heat level was perfect. The next was my favorite. It was a sampler of smoked fish. It had trout, two varieties of salmon, albacore and sword fish. Oh my goodness. The tartar sauce was a perfect compliment to the smoky flavors. I also got to try some of their cajun shrimp. And then, if that wasn't enough food to fill several normal sized stomachs, I got their chipotle rubbed swordfish tacos. I can't eat another fish taco in Utah. It's just not the same. We shared a creme brulee trio to finish it off. (Because we clearly hadn't eaten enough by then...) They were cardamom, peach, and blood orange flavored.

The only other food worth mentioning was El Indio. It was featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. They make their own masa and tortillas. They were to die for! They are famous for their taquitos, but I judge Mexican restaurants based on their chips and salsa and carnitas. With homemade tortillas, you can imagine the chips are also homemade and are nice and crunchy. They have 3 varieties of salsa. I didn't try the mild because I like it spicy. The salsas were great. The carnitas were really good. (I still prefer El Mexiquense's carnitas, but you can't go wrong with homemade tortillas. If only they would combine forces. I don't think I'd ever eat anything else.)

I am going to embarrass myself a little and tell you that my mouth is watering right now.  If I could go back today for more, I would do it in a heart beat.

Third: The beach! I'd never been to the beach before last Wednesday. I didn't think I was missing out on anything. I may have been wrong. (Probably the only time that will ever happen... or maybe it happens all the time... I can't ever remember!) The beach was so fun! I didn't love the sand - it just sticks to you when you're wet, but I LOVED the water. I loved feeling the power of the ocean. The waves were abnormally high that day (the lifeguard kept telling people that and kept asking everyone to move closer to the beach so we didn't get pulled out by the current. I loved feeling the current pull the sand from under my feet and watching the waves crash over and over. My eyes didn't love the salt water, but I loved jumping into the waves and letting them carrying me toward shore when I was finished. I will definitely need another trip to the beach. I want to go snorkeling, kayaking, and swimming again. Since I am not a person to chill on the beach, we stayed in the water or just about an hour and a half. Then stood on the beach long enough for the sun to dry us off (about 30 minutes). So it only took two hours to come home with quite the sun burn. Luckily, it's been a couple of days so it doesn't hurt or look as bad now.

I loved this vacation. I don't feel like I needed to rest from being too busy, and we had so much fun! Now that we are home and settled, I can start devoting my time to making delicious things to share with you! Well, delicious and healthy. After eating out so much over the past couple of weeks, you can imagine I've had to resolve to eat healthier for at least the next couple of weeks...

Vacation, Part One

We're on vacation. Well, I am on vacation. My husband still has to work, but he gets to work in different cities. I think that qualifies as vacation. Our first stop was Vegas. I know what you are thinking. I've been complaining about the heat in Utah, and I voluntarily vacation in the desert. There is method to the madness. Trust me.

One of my best friends and her husband live in Vegas (not for long - we're working on moving them closer!) so we've been staying with them. If I had to pick one word for our stay, it would be hilarious. I love that we are in the same place in life and laugh about the same things. We can all make awkward comments and laugh hysterically. It's perfect.

We have had some killer food in the past couple of days. Last time we were in Vegas, we ate at a buffet on the strip. I have a thing about buffets. I hate them. I mean, I like the concept of eating all kinds of different foods until you're super full. However, I'd rather have a single plate of good food instead of 6 or 7 plates of mediocre food. That being said, I've eaten a variety of delicious foods this trip. One of my favorites happens to be one of my favorites in Utah. Cafe Zupas. Try it. It is fresh and light and addicting. They just opened one here. We went to the grand opening. Everything was 50% off. Could there be anything better? Half off some of your favorite foods? The answer is no. If you promise not to judge, I will tell you that I have also eaten a mushroom and Swiss cheese stuffed hamburger, french fries, sesame chicken, fried rice, waffles with Nutella and strawberries and whipped cream, and pork stir fry. Don't worry, it wasn't all at the same time. 

I would like to confess something. I like The Big Bang Theory (no, not the actual theory, the tv show), but I don't understand a lot of what they talk about. About a week ago, I was given a glimpse into their world. My husband owns the first new Star Trek movie. I watched it. Then I came to Vegas, sat in an amazing theater that has super comfy recliners and watched the second one. I am going to be honest with you. I loved it. I understand some Big Bang references now, and I am buying a Star Trek movie so I can watch it again. 

We spent some time in the pool when it was about a million degrees outside. The water isn't heated, and it was perfect. Pretty palm trees, views of a golf course, and an empty pool. I figure I'll take advantage of the sunlight and get a little color. 

I'm torn about the next part of our trip. I get to do two things I've never done before - go to a Major League Baseball game and go to the beach. Super excited about the game and excited enough about the beach, but I have had such a good time in Vegas, I think I will cry when we leave. (Not because it is Vegas- the city has no appeal to me because I don't care to shop or eat expensive food or see shows) I can't wait for my friend to move back to Utah. I am convinced we will be neighbors someday. I feel like we understand each other really well and have a blast!

Not sure when I am going to post about the rest of our vacation or some amazing recipes I NEED to share, but it will be as soon as possible! I'll try to take pictures so you can appreciate the things I talk about. 

El Mexiquense Grill

I didn't cook yesterday or today. Didn't feel good. So instead of baking cookies, I bought apples for our road trip. Probably a better choice. Can you imagine? Kylee locked in a car for hours on end with cookies? One of us wouldn't make it and the other probably wouldn't fit through the car door again. Doesn't sound like a good idea now that I think about it. I'll stick to apples this time. Maybe when I invest in a truck, I'll take cookies on road trips and just sit in the back.

Since I am not posting about food I've made, I thought I should share with you a gem we found a month ago. To set the stage, I should tell you that I'd never had street tacos until I was married. The taco trucks scared me. My first experience ended early because as I ate, my husband joked about them accidentally using brain and tongue in my taco. It wasn't funny. (It is now, however.) I got over it enough to try a different truck. Then I started finding favorites. I have a go to place in Idaho and several in Utah when I am in different cities. I prefer carnitas. The authentic ones are served with onion and cilantro. I like to add the hot salsa. My husband prefers al pastor with hot salsa.

Ok, moving on. We were going to try El Mexiquense Grill in American Fork, Utah about a year ago. We parked, walked in, and walked out because something smelled funny to me. It kept getting killer reviews on Urbanspoon and Yelp, so we decided to try again. Oh man. If I could change one thing about my past, I wouldn't have walked out of this restaurant the first time. We've revisited this place like 4 times. Don't judge. It is amazing. 

The tacos are perfect. I love the carnitas. My husband loves their al pastor. We also prefer different salsas. He likes the hot red, while I could drink their hot green every day. I don't know what makes it so good. It looks like guacamole and has the perfect heat level. I should tell you the sauce doesn't have avocado in it. I don't have their magical recipe. I'd like to have it though. 

We decided to try their rice and beans on our first trip. They were good, but once you eat a taco, you realize you'd rather save room for them. The only other thing I've tried was their fish taco. It wasn't as good as the carnitas, but I still ate all of it. The fish was crispy, and I would have liked it better if they replaced the lettuce and cheese with cilantro, onions, and a little coleslaw. But I am not going to worry about that. I'm going to stick with the perfected carnitas.

Bad move talking about tacos. Now I want them. Like a million of them. You should try them, and when you do, bring me one (or 7) and we can enjoy them together. 

Pasta with Tomato and Brie Sauce

It was hot again today. That being said, I finally found it in me to cook. I have been wanting to try something new lately, so I turned the air conditioner on and cooked as soon as it cooled down enough.

This something new served a couple of purposes. It was easy to make and used up some Brie flavored cheese wedges I wanted to use before we go out of town. (I hate wasting food, remember?) Plus it had cheese in it. I love cheese.

Pasta with Tomato and Brie Sauce
Pick your pasta! (I used thin spaghetti noodles because I had some open. Use a small handful per person.)
1 can diced tomatoes (I used one that had garlic and onion in it. I liked it.)
2 wedges of Brie flavored cheese or 2 oz of Brie
Oregano
Thyme
Parsley

1. Add the can of tomatoes, a pinch of oregano, thyme, and parsley into a saucepan. Let it simmer for about 5 minutes before starting the next steps.

2. Start the pasta in generously salted, boiling water. Cook until just barely al dente. Drain, but reserve the water.

3. Just before the pasta is finished, add the cheese to the tomato sauce. Use an immersion blender to purée the sauce.

4. Combine the sauce and pasta. If it needs more liquid, add a little of the pasta water.

5. Top it with parmesan cheese. (If you are trying to use up other cheeses, add them to the sauce and top. Mozzarella is a good addition, but it definitely wasn't necessary.)

This was a fun experiment that my husband asked me to add to the rotation. That's always a good sign. It was a richly flavored pasta dish. I will definitely make it again. I didn't miss having meat in the dish, but you could add some sausage without taking away from the deliciousness. I regret not making butter dips, but there is always next time. I am planning on making cookies for our road trip, so be prepared for a recipe or two!

Record

Provo had a record high today of 94. It's not even mid-May and the temperature is comparable to that of mid-July. Windows and doors have been closed, and the air conditioner was turned on. I was hoping for at least a couple more weeks before that happened. I guess the only good news is the pool is open early. I'll give it another couple of weeks to really warm up the water, but then I will be there every day. Until then, I see a lot of ice cream in my future.

As for food news, you'll be pleased to hear that cooking has all but halted at my house. The heat hits, kraken comes to visit, and so we eat sandwiches. Actually, we are grilling tonight. The perfect steaks I just posted about last. To be honest, this will be the third time since Friday. It is that good. Perfectly seasoned steak with corn on the cob and potatoes of some sort. (Except tonight we are eating carrots instead of potatoes. They are easier.)

I promise I have delicious recipes coming. Now that I am committed to keeping the air conditioner on, it will be easier to cook. We are doing a lot of cleaning out the fridge since we are going on a vacation! I could not be more excited. I will be sure and take pictures and blog as we go so you can enjoy it with us!

That's all for today. Hope you are finding ways to stay cool in these crazy temperatures! If you need ice cream, come on over! I am willing to share... a little.

First Summer Meal

It was so hot outside today. Once the temperature hits about 75, I consider it summer. I know at that point the fans will remain on, windows will stay open, and I will eat a lot of cold cereal. And ice cream. I just don't feel like cooking when it is this hot. Makes me hope winter is going to come early this year. Like in July. (Someday, I'll visit Antarctica and spend enough time there to appreciate seasons that don't start with w. May take a while.)

Even though I may be a little anti-summer, I still like the food in summer. Tonight was my first taste of warm weather food. Oh, it was so good. We decided to grill tonight. I marinated steaks. (I got them on sale today- they were so good that I am going back tomorrow to buy more.) it was a simple marinade with Worcestershire sauce (Please don't ever ask me how to pronounce this sauce... I never get it right!), hot sauce, garlic, salt, and pepper. My husband grilled them to perfection. We make a good team.

Next on the menu was steamed corn on the cob. Too hot to bother with the stove? Yes, yes, it was. I microwaved it in a gallon size baggie with about a tablespoon of water for 4 minutes. Butter, salt, and pepper made it perfect. You know when corn on the cob is perfect when you don't set it down until it is all gone. Plus it gets all over your face. So probably not a first date kind of food. Wait until you are married and you can smile really big with stuff in your teeth and on your face and know that he can't do anything about it. Haha!

To make this meal extra healthy, I made homemade French fries. Cut them earlier today and let them soak in water in the fridge to remove some starch. Used a deep fryer I got as a Tuesday present several months ago (apparently my French fry addiction is less expensive if I make my own) and got them nice and crispy. Yes, we had fry sauce with it. (Mayonnaise and ketchup mixed together for those that don't know. Recipe isn't hard enough to warrant a blog post. Some people add a little sugar to it, some add hot sauce, so you just make it how you like. I prefer less ketchup than mayonnaise and a little hot sauce.)

It was the perfect meal to keep me from being grumpy about the heat. Plus the steak was so tender, juicy, and flavorful that I preferred it to the French fries. Weird, I know. Unlucky for you, I forgot to take a picture, so you will have to use your imagination. I have big plans for some recipes I am making the next couple of days. Don't worry, I'll remember to take pictures of them for you.

So until then, I am going to finish off a perfect day with some graham crackers and milk! Hope you enjoy your weekend! Mine includes replacing my salad spinner and knife. Yay!

Mother's Day

Since Mother's Day is coming up, I have been thinking about moms lately. Specifically, my mom, my grandma, my mother-in-law, and the kind of mom I want to be someday. These incredible women all warrant a section of this post, so here we go!

My Mom 
We often joke that we are twins 25 years apart. We talk the same way, laugh at the same jokes, and have many other similarities. My husband likes to jokingly point out every time I say things my mom says. That's okay by me. My mom is hilarious. I could write books on the amazing things my mom has done and the many ways I want to be a mom just like her, but since this is a blog, I am going to keep it relatively short. Here are some of my favorite things about her.

• My mom has the softest heart for little kids. She just loves them. They can all tell and flock to her. She still gets down on the floor and plays with them. Whatever they want to play. She did this when we were little and continues on with primary kids in her ward and grandkids.
• When we were little, my mom was forever telling us stories. Every day for lunch, we would all get about 4 books and she would read them happily. With voices. She read the same books so many times, I am sure she still has most of them memorized. 
• My mom is a really hard worker. When she had to work outside of our home, she always did so at a time when it wouldn't affect her being a mom (like at night when we were asleep or while we were at school.) She didn't want to miss out on anything.
• My mom made sure that our house was clean, our homework was done, and we had time to do extra-curricular activities. I don't know how many dance practices, recitals, and competitions she sat through (and prepared us for and cleaned up after). She went to every baseball game, violin recital, cheerleading competition, basketball and football games (to watch the cheerleaders), and school presentations. She helped with student council skits, posters, and events. She has always been so supportive super creative.
• My mom made it through four emotional teenage girls with flying colors. She dealt with all of our friend problems, boy problems, and meltdowns. I have to give her props for that. Couldn't have been easy. 
• My mom made going to church an important part of our family. She taught us to pray always, read our scriptures, and participate in family home evening. We were encouraged to attend all of our meetings and activities. Ok, fun story time. When I was little, about 3, I was asked to give the family prayer. I started out just fine. After a couple of statements, I asked Heavenly Father to bless my mom to feel better. Then I paused. My mom opened her eyes to see if I needed help, only to find me staring at her. With complete innocence, I asked, "Mom, are you sick?" Haha! What a clever kid I was. What a patient mom she was. Plus, I don't think my mom has ever missed going visiting teaching. There was one time that she was either sick or had to work and asked me to go with her partner. But she made sure she was represented.
• Finally, my mom is still one of my best friends. She likes telling me about her life and asking all about mine. We laugh at inside jokes we have (like the chicken who lived at the airport in Idaho or the fact that slow drivers are always the same people.) We share food ideas and books to read.

My Grandma

I got to grow up 10 minutes away from my grandparents. My grandma is 50 years older than I am. She is so fun to be around. She's funny and so loving. She keeps track of her family so well. It's impressive. Here are some things I love about my grandma.

• My grandma insists on having clean windows. When I was little, we would go over and help her. They were the older windows that had to be taken out a certain way and put back in a certain way. Someone always had to help because I could never remember which way they were supposed to go. Even now, I can guarantee my grandma's windows are perfectly clean. It's not just windows though. It's her whole house. It's always clean. 
• My grandma is a hard worker. She loves working in her yard. She has flowers and trees that she diligently takes care of in the spring, summer, and fall. Plus she is a painter. She paints her house, my mom's house, and the doors to their shed. 
• My grandma gets up and gets ready every single day. She fixes her hair, puts makeup on, and is ready for an outing anytime. That's more than I can say about myself. 
• My grandma has a cupboard dedicated to snacks, her freezer is full of ice cream and candy bars, and her fridge is full of soda. She always makes sure there is something everyone likes. (Soda is for my husband. Pretty sure the ice cream and candy are for me...) 
• My grandma is strong. She is a cancer survivor. She has a stronger testimony because of it. We have great memories of wig parties and stopping at the Chinese restaurant before or after her treatments. She is so supportive to anyone who is going through difficulties. She has so much empathy and love for people. 
• Finally, my grandma makes me laugh. She taught me to flip off semis when they cut you off on the freeway. She loves to eat out with family and friends. 

My Mother-in-law

I met my mother-in-law two weeks after I got married. I was absolutely terrified! As it turns out, there was no reason to be. She stayed up late to meet me and was so sweet. She always has been. I haven't known her as long as my mom and grandma, but there are still many things I've learned from her and love about her. 

• My mother-in-law is so family oriented. I mean, she moved across the country away from her family roots to be near her children. She has her grandkids over to spend the night once a week.
• My mother-in-law is so friendly! She talks to everyone: people at the grocery story, people who work at the grocery store, anyone. She is sweet and complimentary. She genuinely cares about people.
• My mother-in-law loves teaching me about recipes from her family. Big fan of that. She taught me to make her famous egg rolls (pretty sure I gained about 10 lbs each time we've made them - so worth it.) She is sweet to try the different foods I've made for her and always says something nice about it. 
• My mother-in-law has so many great stories from her past. She married her high school sweetheart and lived in Germany twice, working and raising two kids while her husband was working with the Army. 
• My mother-in-law comes to visit about once a month, even though she doesn't love the drive. She comes to our primary class and is so cute with the kids.
• Finally, my mother-in-law raised an incredible son. He tells me stories about how she expected them to keep their house clean. He still does a great job with that. She taught him to be be loving and considerate. (I am pretty sure she also taught him to love soda. haha)

I am so grateful to have these examples in my life. I am also grateful for sisters and a sister-in-law that teach me, by example, about being a mother. I am grateful to know that I have amazing, experienced women to look to when I have questions or am running out of patience as a mom. I am also grateful to know that they are there for me now and will be when I begin my journey of motherhood. Thank you.

Modified Fajita Nachos

I am still on my Mexican food kick. Doubt I'll ever be over it. Tonight, I decided to combine two of my favorites. Nachos and Fajitas. YUM. The good news with nachos is you can change the toppings to fit your own tastes. This is how I set mine up tonight.

Fajita Nachos

Tortilla chips

Meat of your choice (leftovers are great here!)

Beans of your choice (refried are some of my favorite)

Cheese (love cheese so I used nacho cheese and pepper jack - use your )

1 onion

1 red bell pepper

1 green bell pepper

Garlic Salt

Cayenne Pepper

Chili Powder

Step 1. The first and most important step is to make your own tortilla chips. Buy corn tortillas (I've used homemade before, and to be honest, I don't love them as much. I'm still working on it.) and cut them into 6 pieces. Deep fry them. Drain them on paper towels and salt them. Ok, so you can really use store bought, but they aren't as delicious. Plus, they always seem to go soggy faster.

Step 2. Cut your bell peppers and onion into 1/4" strips.

Step 3. Saute the peppers and onion in olive oil until they are just soft (I like crunchy textures, remember? Cook them as long as you want.) Season with a little garlic salt, cayenne pepper, chili powder.

Step 4. Heat up the meat, beans, and liquid cheeses you plan on using. I used my microwave since they were already in individual bowls. I also didn't take photos of this. It really wasn't that entertaining.

Step 5. Start to build your nachos. Chips first. Then meat.

Step 6. Add beans and a little pepper jack cheese.

Step 7. Add the peppers and onion.

Step 8. Drizzle the cheese on the nachos.

Step 9. Maybe add a little more pepper jack. Throw it all in the oven for a a couple of minutes to melt the cheese.

Step 10. Enjoy it.

These nachos were KILLER. I loved the flavor and texture. Plus I had sautéed mushrooms on my portion. (Only on my portion because my husband refuses to eat them. He says it is because of some pigs, which is odd since pork is one of his favorite proteins.) They were amazing with mushrooms. It reminded me of my favorite Philly cheesesteak. I'll tell you about it someday, don't worry.

Well, I am off to go through the weekly grocery ads. It is one of my favorite activities. Since I spend so much time in the grocery store, I have a pretty good idea on regular prices so I know what the good deals are. The good news is I have four of them to keep me busy. I keep a list of what to get at each. Grocery shopping is in my future. Can't wait!

What makes you happy?

I like being around happy people. I like that happy people look for positive things to focus on. Because let's face it: Everyone is dealing with temptations and trials that will send them through their own Gethsemane. No one is exempt from suffering. It isn't that happy people don't have difficulties in life. They just realize that we all have a choice in every situation we are placed in: We can choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy. That being said, it is up to each of us to choose to be happy, especially through our times of trial. In the scriptures, we read, "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."

I truly believe that. We are supposed to be happy! No, I don't act perfectly happy all of the time. I'm not perfect. Sometimes I just feel like being grumpy (blame the kraken...) and it takes me longer than it should to adjust my attitude. That doesn't happen very often though because I have so many reasons to be happy! I could start listing those reasons, but I would rather share my perspective with you.

I should start by saying I understand that there is a time to feel sad and a time to grieve. In fact, we should feel sad for mistakes we make and when we lose a loved one. We can feel sad after losing a job or not getting into the school of our choice. We can feel sad for a loved one making mistakes or getting hurt. This list can go on and on, but since we aren't focusing on negative things, we should just remember that every thing that can make us unhappy has been felt by our Savior. He understands how we feel and why we feel that way.

He has conquered every worry we could ever have in this world. The atonement can erase our sins if we sincerely repent. We are sealed to our families in the temple so we can be with them after this life is over. We can rejoice knowing that there is only a temporary separation. Our physical pains don't just have to be managed forever. They will all be overcome. Every loss will be made up for. Every worry of this world diminishes in importance when we have an eternal perspective and realize that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. He doesn't want us to be unhappy, He just realizes that in order for us to be truly happy, we need to become like He is. The only way for that to happen includes testing and trials and finding joy through it all.

We all know that the source of real happiness is Jesus Christ. To be His opposite, like in all things, Satan wants us to be miserable. He wants us to focus on every little thing that is going wrong and lose hope (and by extension, faith.) He wants to remind us of everything we've done wrong and why we don't deserve to be happy. Let me put it this way. Remember how we have the choice to be happy or unhappy after everything that is said or done? Well, if we choose happiness, we are following our Savior. If we choose to be unhappy, we are letting the devil have power over us. Sobering, isn't it?

Here are a couple of tricks I like to use to maintain an eternal perspective.

1. Keep a list of your blessings in the forefront of your mind. That way every time your attitude starts to turn sour, you can combat it with the millions things in life that are going well. Be specific. The more you can name, the easier it will be to keep yourself from being unhappy.

2. Don't compare yourself to others. Isn't is usually true that we compare the worst parts of ourselves with the best part of someone else? We'll never win that battle. More importantly, we don't have to. We should take solace knowing that our Heavenly Father loves us for who we really are. Our Savior suffered and died for all of us, not just those wearing expensive clothes, buying certain kinds of homes or furniture, or wearing makeup regularly. We are all of infinite worth.

3. Read uplifting material. (In addition to your scriptures.) This comes in a variety of different ways. Might I suggest the multitude of articles on lds.org? It is an endless supply of articles and stories to help you maintain a positive attitude. For example, I looked for a quote to add to this post. This one is my favorite from Elder Joseph B. Worthlin. “Don’t wait for tomorrow. Don’t wait for the right job, the right house, the right salary, the right dress size. Be happy today. Be happy now. …" 

4. Talk through your emotions. As a woman, I know the importance of talking about feelings. You need to talk to someone you trust and love about whatever it is you are feeling. Find someone who understands what you are going through. Listen to their consoling words and advice. But more importantly, tell your Heavenly Father what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. He has consoling words for you (see #3) and advice (listen as the Spirit guides you.) Let Him help you let go of the sadness and move on. 

5. Most importantly, you have to want to be happy. This isn't just saying things like "I wish I could be happy." Or "I keep trying to be happy, but life is just so hard because of X, Y, or Z." It means relying on our Savior to take away the hard feelings, guilt, and sadness. He can and will. He wants to. He wants you to rely on Him. We already read that He wants us to be happy, and that there is nothing that He can't make better. The only explanation for us not finding happiness is us not really wanting to. I can't help with that one. I want to be happy every day. I want you to be happy too. Honest.

Please find reasons to be happy. Know that it has nothing to do with the accumulation of "things" or the opinions of others. Only do and say those things you know will lead to your happiness. Can you imagine the world we could live in if everyone decided to "Be happy now?" I think we should find out!

Cinco de Mayo

I love a good excuse to make (and eat) Mexican food. We celebrate Cinco de Mayo in my house as another holiday that encourages overeating. Think Thanksgiving, but with Mexican food. It was delightful.

Yesterday, I brought back a few favorites from our pasts. Jarritos were something my husband would drink on his mission. (Yesterday was my first taste, and I decided they taste like melted popsicles. Really sweet.) When I was younger, my family used to eat taquitos every Sunday night. So, they were added to the menu. If I told you they were dipped in nacho cheese, would you judge me? Oh well. They were and I loved them.

Next on the menu were favorites from present day. Homemade tortilla chips. Salsa verde. Pico de gallo. I made a beef roast in the crockpot and made nachos with the homemade tortila chips (better than regular because they stay crunchy longer) and nacho cheese. Throw in a nap, the NY Times crossword puzzle, and Food Network and I call that a perfect day. It was a pretty perfect day. Today is looking pretty good, too. I have leftovers.

I hope you had a wonderful day full of delicious food and Cinco de Mayo inspired music. (Pandora has a station. My husband serenaded me while we cooked. It was hilarious.)

As for today, it has been declared a duvet day. So I won't be cooking or cleaning. I have a book that is demanding to be read and M&Ms begging to be eaten. Plus, there is always words with friends (hint, it's your turn), and it is my turn to plan the lesson for Family Home Evening. Tonight, we are listening to this talk by Sister Rosemary Wixom on The Words We Speak. If you haven't heard or read it, you should. If you have, read it or watch it again. You may have missed something.

(In)Fertility

I've wanted to write this post from the beginning of this blog. It is something that is always on my mind. If you read my Background post, you'll know that all I've wanted in life is to be a wife and a mother. Well, I am halfway there.

I absolutely love being a wife. It is far better than I ever could have imagined. I am with my best friend every day. I wake up happy every morning. I have a thoughtful, loving husband who came up with Tuesday presents and Duvet Days. (Those are days that I get to relax and do absolutely nothing - but it's not just about sitting around and reading. It is being appreciated and feeling adored.) He wants, more than anything for me to be happy. He makes it a point to initiate family home evening, family prayers, and family scripture study. He dislikes contention as much as I do and is quick to apologize and make things better. He is an incredible husband and will be an incredible father someday. I think I knew that best when I first heard him pray that we would be blessed with a baby. (That was well over a year ago and even though it has been repeated many times, it still brings tears to my eyes.)

We decided when we were first married that we want to be parents right away and didn't plan on using birth control. We've been married for just over 18 months, and to be honest with you, that means it has been 18 months of crying the day I started each month. It means that there have been 18 roller coaster rides that start with the hope of being pregnant and crash when that isn't the case. It is a hard ride to get up from, dust yourself off and then buckle into the same ride for another round.

I want to make it clear that there are a couple of things I want to accomplish with this post. Sympathy is not one of them. I want to help people understand this particular trial. I don't know about everyone else in the world, but I know so many people who are having to deal with the trial of having difficulties becoming pregnant. I don't know if I wasn't paying attention before or if it is progressively becoming worse. Either way, I want to make it easier for you to empathize with people going through it. I know that this isn't the most difficult thing someone can go through, but it isn't easy either (wouldn't be called a trial if it was).

My next purpose is for those that read this blog that are having this same struggle. I want you to know why it is a good thing to not get pregnant when you hope, pray, and want to. (Please don't stop reading here thinking that I am cold hearted, just trust me.) Also, I want you to know that just because you are having problems, you shouldn't lose hope or get discouraged. You can still cry. I do. It doesn't ever last long, but I need to get out my emotions before I can start over each month. You have my permission to do the same.

I took my first pregnancy test about 3 weeks after I was married. I was a couple of days late and so excited. It was negative and I cried. I started 2 days later. That has happened 4 times now. It doesn't get easier to see a no. I started taking ovulation tests after we had been married about 6 months to see if that would help. I stopped a couple of months later because it was harder to know I was ovulating and still not getting pregnant.

So many thoughts went through my mind at that point. It usually started with questions like "What's wrong with me?" or "Why are so many women who don't want to be pregnant getting pregnant?"The really hard months made me feel like a failure. I am a woman. One of my roles is to be a mom. If I let myself get dragged down by all of the questions and doubts, it led to questions like, "What am I doing so wrong that Heavenly Father doesn't trust me with His children?" or "Why doesn't Heavenly Father want me to be a mom?"  Those questions are enough to break your heart and they did some months.

If you are going over these same questions or your own variety of them, please stop. Doubts and fears are just going to make things harder for you. Please try to find the positive. Believe me, I know in those moments that it seems too hard to focus on the positive. Please keep trying though. Find someone to talk to who understands (you have my permission for that person to be me in the future) and cleave to your spouse. They may not show it the same way women do, but they are suffering too. You not being a mom yet means that he doesn't get to be a dad yet. Remember that.

Another difficulty I encountered happened because my friends and family members were so anxious for me to be a mom (they know that is my dream and always has been). So having to tell them month after month that I wasn't pregnant would just remind me that I wasn't pregnant. After so long it turned from a positive "Are you pregnant?" to "Do you think there is something wrong you?" or "Maybe it is time to go to a fertility specialist." or "Maybe you should just adopt instead." It was hard at first, but I am grateful to know that they cared enough to know what I wanted and hope for it for me. In those moments, I just wanted to talk to someone who understood what I was feeling or would let me vent.

So, if you know of someone who is struggling to conceive, my advice to you is to think before you make comments that seem to be harmless to you. It could be a hard day for them. We are all confused and know our options, we just need support. Think of it like any other trial. If you have a friend that just lost a job, there's nothing you can do (unless you can hire them) but you can be there to support them. You can encourage them. You can let them know you love them. It's the same thing.

Okay, now I want to talk about the more important part. This has been quite the journey for me. I know that I am supposed to be a mom. I don't have a guarantee that it will be in this life, but I feel like it will. (No, that's not just because I want it to. There is a lot of fasting and prayer that led to this feeling.) One of my favorite quotes is from Elder Neal A. Maxwell. He said that "Faith also includes trust in God's timing, for He has said, "All things must come to pass in their time." (D&C 64:32) Because I have faith in God, I can trust in His timing. He knows me, knows how I feel, and what is best for me. He is also there for me. If I rely on Him to guide me through this trial, it will teach me to become more like Him.

The fact that I haven't been blessed with children yet is proof that there is a plan for me and my family. If you think about it the same way you think about receiving the answer "No" to a prayer, you will realize that there is something better for you on the horizon. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once said that you can either get what you want or something better. I really believe that is the case. We have a Heavenly Father who wants us to be happy and will either give us what we want or something that is even better for us. I am so grateful to know that.

Because I made the decision to trust in my Heavenly Father, I know that it is now my responsibility to prepare to have children. I am blessed with time to prepare my heart, actions, and home for children. I want to have in place those things that I want to teach my kids. For example, I want my kids to know how important the scriptures are. I get the chance now to make it a habit to study the scriptures everyday. I get the time to turn myself into a better mom than I could have been a month ago and a year ago.

One of my favorite scripture stories is that of Zacharias and Elisabeth. I can't compare myself to the trials they faced the many years they hoped and prayed and wanted children, but I can better understand how Elisabeth felt. I can see how much Heavenly Father loved and cared for them without them knowing. They were blessed with a son who was "great in the sight of the Lord." They weren't supposed to have John when they were younger. There was a plan for them and for him. Because they remained faithful through their trials, they were blessed. So during those days that I feel sorry for myself, I remember Elisabeth. I think of her as a woman with feelings and emotions. I think of her heartbreak and steady faith. That reminds me that it is imperative that I keep going. Elisabeth had to wait many years before her prayers were answered, but what would have happened if she faltered and gave up? I don't want to find out what would happen if I falter or give up.

There are several different definitions of infertility. Some organizations say that if you are my age and have tried unsuccessfully for a year to conceive a baby, you are infertile. Some organizations give you two years to try. I am aware that there are treatments that can assist you to become pregnant or to ovulate more regularly. Trust me, I've done a lot of research. I also know that those aren't always successful because at the end of the day, it takes more than sperm meeting an egg. It requires a spirit sent from Heavenly Father. He has the last say. That is pretty lucky for us since He is all-powerful and all-knowing. He knows when it will be my turn and is asking me to wait patiently. Someday, he might prompt me to get medical assistance to conceive a baby, but for now, He just wants to see that I can rely on my faith in Him.

Since this is always on my mind, this isn't the last time you'll hear about it. I hope my perspective helps you understand something you didn't know before. Even if you didn't, I am grateful I have this record for the day that my kids are on my last nerve and I am running out of patience and understanding. I want to remember in those moments how many times I prayed and hoped for them to be here.

BBQ Part Two

I am still in the mood for barbecue, so I would like to reminisce today.

My first barbecue sandwich was pulled pork which happens to be my favorite. The restaurant we went to wasn't an eat-in restaurant so we took our food home to eat it. (Had I known how delicious it was, I wouldn't have made it out of the parking lot before devouring mine and maybe someone else's.)

The pork was hickory smoked. The sandwich had the smoked pork, cole slaw, and we got to put our own barbecue sauce on it. That is the way to go. Nice, tender pork. Crispy cole slaw. As much BBQ sauce as you want. (So as not to make a soggy sandwich or wet meat. Genius.) Spicy or regular sauce. Please tell me someone else is drooling at this point. I didn't even care about eating the french fries and that is saying a lot because I am from Idaho. We have potato starch running through our veins.

The second trip to Tennessee was to help move my in-laws. We would work all day and be tired, sweaty, and dirty by dinner time. I will admit that I HAPPILY went into public to get a pulled pork sandwich. I even ate inside the restaurant... leisurely. Sick, I know. Just means I don't judge when I see people who have obviously been working hard all day. You shouldn't either. (Funny story: After dinner, I went back to the house and jumped in the pool in my regular clothes. It was hot and humid, and I am a winter girl. I needed to cool off. It was worth it.)

Such amazing food memories. Now to tell you the tales of Utah barbecue. Prepare yourselves with tissues to cry with me and take notes so you don't make the same mistakes.

First on our list was in Cedar City. It was so promising, and I was so excited! Their restaurant motto is "Put some South in your mouth." Sounds perfect, right? Well, Sonny Boy's BBQ was such a disappointment. They drenched the coals in their smoker with lighter fluid. It doesn't taste as good as you'd think. Their sides were bland, oily, and soggy. Not good. Won't go back and will continue telling people not to waste their money or taste buds here.

Next on our list was Big Al's in Provo. The meat wasn't flavorful. I actually had what looked like thick pig skin in my sandwich. The sides were bland. Their spicy BBQ sauce was the only good thing on the plate. Not worth going back.

Orem had a new place start up last year. Smokehouse. This sandwich was more fat than meat. It was cheap and tasted it. We didn't have sides with this one.

The last place I want to tell you about is Big Bones BBQ in Spanish Fork. It was the best of all those listed. You could taste the smoke. The sauce was nice and spicy. It was on ciabatta rolls though. Not quite authentic, but it was okay. It was a good pulled pork sandwich, but I wouldn't make the 20 minute drive just for the sandwich.

That all being said, I still have a couple of places to try. If there is a BBQ joint you absolutely love, let me know. I'm willing to try new places, and I'm hopeful I'll find a place that will meet my spoiled expectations. 

Barbecue

Today I would like to teach you. I don't want to tell you about school, show you a recipe, or draw you a picture. (I am just as bad at drawing as I am at taking photos. In fact, I am worse at drawing. It's okay. I don't need to be good at everything.) 

I would like to start by making a confession. I didn't know what barbecue tasted like until after I was married. I know. It's embarrassing. It's okay though because it is no one's fault. Most people are mistaken by it. In fact, even dictionary.com is incorrect in telling people that it can be considered a verb. That's right: it's a noun. A very delicious noun.

My first trip to the South was a special time. I met my in-laws for the first time, actually saw some of the southern states (other than the inside of airports, which we all know don't count), and my first (second, third, fourth, etc...) encounter with barbecue. Oh my goodness. I could have moved into those restaurants.

My husband talked up barbecue before our trip and I was excited. (I love trying new food.) It had a delicious smoky flavor. It was super tender. It is something that everyone should try at least once. (Or if you are me, you try it once for every meal you are visiting the South.) So I did what every intelligent woman would do: I bought a smoker when I got home. It has been put to good use and I can't wait to bring it out for the summer!

Okay, so to clear a couple of things up for those of us not familiar with the South. First, when you gather your family outside and a grill is involved, it's just that. You're grilling out. Secondly, please don't try to tell me that people in Utah know how to make good barbecue. I've tried several restaurants and leave wanting to cry. I admit that I even call the restaurants to find out if they claim to be authentic. My husband has thrown in the towel and won't try anymore with me.

I will admit that they have their work cut out for them. It is harder to smoke meat outside in Utah than it is in Tennessee. It's colder here and can be difficult to maintain a good temperature in the smoker. That doesn't mean you should use lighter fluid. It just means you shouldn't smoke meat outside in the winter. (Sometimes fall and spring too... it is Utah, after all.)

I still haven't given up. I am just ordering smaller portions until I find a good place to enjoy barbecue out west. If you have recommendations, I would be more than willing to try them! (Unless I've already vetoed it, of course.) Until then, we are planning a barbecue tour of the southern states. I can't wait. Yeah, I am one of those people that goes on vacation to eat. It's delightful. Hope you learned something new or are at least craving good barbecue so I'm not alone.