I like being around happy people. I like that happy people look for positive things to focus on. Because let's face it: Everyone is dealing with temptations and trials that will send them through their own Gethsemane. No one is exempt from suffering. It isn't that happy people don't have difficulties in life. They just realize that we all have a choice in every situation we are placed in: We can choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy. That being said, it is up to each of us to choose to be happy, especially through our times of trial. In the scriptures, we read, "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."
I truly believe that. We are supposed to be happy! No, I don't act perfectly happy all of the time. I'm not perfect. Sometimes I just feel like being grumpy (blame the kraken...) and it takes me longer than it should to adjust my attitude. That doesn't happen very often though because I have so many reasons to be happy! I could start listing those reasons, but I would rather share my perspective with you.
I should start by saying I understand that there is a time to feel sad and a time to grieve. In fact, we should feel sad for mistakes we make and when we lose a loved one. We can feel sad after losing a job or not getting into the school of our choice. We can feel sad for a loved one making mistakes or getting hurt. This list can go on and on, but since we aren't focusing on negative things, we should just remember that every thing that can make us unhappy has been felt by our Savior. He understands how we feel and why we feel that way.
He has conquered every worry we could ever have in this world. The atonement can erase our sins if we sincerely repent. We are sealed to our families in the temple so we can be with them after this life is over. We can rejoice knowing that there is only a temporary separation. Our physical pains don't just have to be managed forever. They will all be overcome. Every loss will be made up for. Every worry of this world diminishes in importance when we have an eternal perspective and realize that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. He doesn't want us to be unhappy, He just realizes that in order for us to be truly happy, we need to become like He is. The only way for that to happen includes testing and trials and finding joy through it all.
We all know that the source of real happiness is Jesus Christ. To be His opposite, like in all things, Satan wants us to be miserable. He wants us to focus on every little thing that is going wrong and lose hope (and by extension, faith.) He wants to remind us of everything we've done wrong and why we don't deserve to be happy. Let me put it this way. Remember how we have the choice to be happy or unhappy after everything that is said or done? Well, if we choose happiness, we are following our Savior. If we choose to be unhappy, we are letting the devil have power over us. Sobering, isn't it?
Here are a couple of tricks I like to use to maintain an eternal perspective.
1. Keep a list of your blessings in the forefront of your mind. That way every time your attitude starts to turn sour, you can combat it with the millions things in life that are going well. Be specific. The more you can name, the easier it will be to keep yourself from being unhappy.
2. Don't compare yourself to others. Isn't is usually true that we compare the worst parts of ourselves with the best part of someone else? We'll never win that battle. More importantly, we don't have to. We should take solace knowing that our Heavenly Father loves us for who we really are. Our Savior suffered and died for all of us, not just those wearing expensive clothes, buying certain kinds of homes or furniture, or wearing makeup regularly. We are all of infinite worth.
3. Read uplifting material. (In addition to your scriptures.) This comes in a variety of different ways. Might I suggest the multitude of articles on lds.org? It is an endless supply of articles and stories to help you maintain a positive attitude. For example, I looked for a quote to add to this post. This one is my favorite from Elder Joseph B. Worthlin. “Don’t wait for tomorrow. Don’t wait for the right job, the right house, the right salary, the right dress size. Be happy today. Be happy now. …"
4. Talk through your emotions. As a woman, I know the importance of talking about feelings. You need to talk to someone you trust and love about whatever it is you are feeling. Find someone who understands what you are going through. Listen to their consoling words and advice. But more importantly, tell your Heavenly Father what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. He has consoling words for you (see #3) and advice (listen as the Spirit guides you.) Let Him help you let go of the sadness and move on.
5. Most importantly, you have to want to be happy. This isn't just saying things like "I wish I could be happy." Or "I keep trying to be happy, but life is just so hard because of X, Y, or Z." It means relying on our Savior to take away the hard feelings, guilt, and sadness. He can and will. He wants to. He wants you to rely on Him. We already read that He wants us to be happy, and that there is nothing that He can't make better. The only explanation for us not finding happiness is us not really wanting to. I can't help with that one. I want to be happy every day. I want you to be happy too. Honest.
Please find reasons to be happy. Know that it has nothing to do with the accumulation of "things" or the opinions of others. Only do and say those things you know will lead to your happiness. Can you imagine the world we could live in if everyone decided to "Be happy now?" I think we should find out!
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